Category: wordplay

The city of Siam is twinned with itself.

Has anyone ever seen a sumo in a casino? Fat chance.

Capital punishment jokes. They’re all about the execution.

My wife’s got a cracking pair of jugs … So we’re taking them back to John Lewis’ to get a refund.

My mate’s a Scottish Rasta and he can’t swim. He dreads lochs.

It would make sense for shortcuts to be longer. If they were quicker they would just be called ‘the way’.

I always thought ‘despair’ was the extra wheel in the boot of a car.

I’m having some trouble with a giant salt container that’s been following me around. It’s just impossible to shake.

News: ‘Pensioner Mugged For Fun’. What is this world coming to? I can’t believe that an old person would enjoy mugging people.

I can always get a girls pulse racing… When they see me in the alley.

Just bought myself a new Wall calender. Doesn’t match up to the Megan Fox one I got last year though.

I’m always falling out with my friends. We’re skydivers.

I went on a beach-hopping holiday last week. Chopped 86 bees.

I was teaching my daughter how to use letters and numbers together, I started with: i 1 2 4 Q Bless her, still trying to work it out.

Since yobs nicked the postie’s bike he’s been working tyrelessly