Category: wordplay

I was going to put my name down as an organ donor, but I just didn’t have the stomach for it.

Im writing a book about psychic abilities, I can see it being a best seller.

I was so bored at work today I was climbing the walls, it does get quite tedious being a rock climbing instructor sometimes.

Round Robin. It’s aged Batman’s obese sidekick.

As I wandered through the desert, I thought I saw a Mitsubishi Galant. As it turns out, it was just a mirage.

Freddie Mercury did a course in art history, earning him a degree that was completely useless in the real world. That’s why they called him Mr. Fahrenheit.

I’ve been going to the gym for the past two weeks and i’ve managed to lose about ten pounds. There’s a wishing well outside.

A light bulb tried to start a fight with me, so I resisted it. It got Ohmed! ———————– Sorry, my jokes are really ammeter.

This hot weather we’re having at the moment has started to make my eyes go puffy. I can’t stop looking up mens shorts.

My granddad downed a German bomber in WW2. They had some crazy names for drinks in those days.

Ever since my house was possessed by ghosts, I haven’t had the energy to do anything, and it’s starting to affect my health. I really need to exorcise.

Frankie has been booted off the X-Factor for breaking a ‘Golden Rule’. He couldn’t sing

I’ve just got a job working for a well known computer firm, trying and testing all their console games. I must admit the interview process was difficult on so many levels.

Just had a game of football with my furniture. It was a drawer.

I’ve been thinking about what I want played at my funeral and I’ve decided I’d like tennis, or cricket. Whoever wins can get the ashes.