“Have you heard the joke …
“Have you heard the joke about no and me neither?” “No?” “Me neither.”
Continue Reading“Have you heard the joke about no and me neither?” “No?” “Me neither.”
Continue ReadingMy friend has made a new type of birdbox to help new birds fledge. Can’t really see it taking off.
Continue ReadingI hate the old tramp who lives under the railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Continue ReadingI went to the Q Awards last night. It took me three hours to get in.
Continue ReadingI was chatting affably with the Italian waiter in the Trattoria last night. After the main course he asked. ‘And what do you do senor?’ ‘Oh, i’m just a litigation lawyer’ I replied. His eyes lit up, and he said. ‘Then for dessert, may i recommend mama’s home made suet pudding.’
Continue ReadingPaedophilia can put you in a tight spot.
Continue ReadingI’ve been babysitting for a while now. They really do make the most comfortable chairs.
Continue ReadingI’ve just run over a hoodie with my combine harvester. There’s no way I’m going to be able to seperate the wheat from the chav.
Continue ReadingCNN News: At least 10 people killed in monster twister. Invite a vampire, a werewolf and godzilla to play Twister and you’re just asking for it.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the carpenter who became an MP? He put the cabinet together.
Continue ReadingMy Jamaican postman always leaves me wanting. Or another.
Continue ReadingI’ve found a great way to last longer in bed… …don’t set your alarm clock.
Continue ReadingA sign on the wall at work today read: People with Authority to key cabinet: Ashley Brian David Paul Sandra Wendy People with NO authority: Ahmed Jon ( thats me) Mohammed Sunita Wilson Winston I could not believe i had been Black listed!
Continue ReadingIf you are a literal minded cannibal, self-catering vacations are a bad idea
Continue ReadingWhen’s the only time a woman really wants the company of a bloke? When he owns it.
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