Category: wordplay

I was invited to a party the other day, and the dress code was ‘smart-casual’. So I went as an oxymoron.

Since my wife drunkenly threw hot tea into my eyes, I haven’t been able to look at her in the same way.

I was walking along the beach when a hot blonde bird caught my eye. Women shouldn’t be messing around with fishing equipment.

Someone just posted this note through my letter box. E M G N I B B U R I think it’s rubbing me up the wrong way.

When I’m with you, I am yours. But without you I’m rs.

For sale: incomplete pack of playing cards, 2.50, No Jokers

The first rule of telepathy club is

I made a great impression when I met the in-laws. I don’t think they know who Harvey Price is though.

As Ronnie Corbett’s wife always says, two hands are better than one.

BBC News:Cannibal star gobbles neighbour. He’s probably bitten off more than he can chew?

Want to pull a Jewish girl? Just show them some interest.

President Hugo Chavez made a triumphant address to the nation, on returning to Venezuela after cancer surgery. For his first appearance, thousands of supporters went Caracas.

Just finished making the first episode of a murder mystery series set on an aeroplane. It was the pilot.

I got my first tweet today. My best fwend took me for a huge ice cweem.

So 1p has been cut from petrol? I don’t think etrol has quite the same ring to it.