Category: wordplay

I hate being in a place where I don’t speak the primary language. It’s getting harder and harder to live in Bradford.

It’s very frustrating. I want a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes…. …. but the library only has manuals

“For God’s sake, I’m working Christmas day!” Said the vicar.

I killed my brother whist I was drink driving. Golf ball right between the eyes.

I was attacked by a tobacconist. I’ve still got the cigars to prove it.

My granddad was in the RAF during the War. I think he was killed in India. I seem to remember my gran saying he fell out of a bomb bay door.

My history teacher enjoyed his birthday party, but I am still not sure he likes the present.

BBC News: “Three-year-old girl rescued from Argentina well” I reckon i could have done it better.

I was quite surprised when I read that The Sun is the nation’s favourite paper. I’ve always preferred Andrex.

Never mess with someone that has OCD. They just clean it all up.

Loose Women: The most ironic name for a programme, ever.

I saw this really cool caterpillar earlier so I decided to take it home. The Mrs wasn’t too happy about having a 45 ton digger on the drive though.

This summer in Barbados I accidentally mistook some of my sister’s Canesten cream for sunblock. Boy was I red faced!

I had to dump my blow up doll earlier I let her down gently

Sky news ‘Insomnia support group headquarters burnt down in arson attack’ The support group leader has said ‘None of us will sleep until the culprits are found’