Category: wordplay

My girlfriend makes a mean sandwich. They are very average.

Chemistry teachers make the best rapists. They always have the element of surprise.

Last night I went to a belt party. Everyone got waisted

My mate was dying of cancer so I decided to send him a get well soon card, but knowing the state of the royal mail I sent a sympathy card to his mum instead.

My wife said to me, “You’ve put on loads of weight since I got throat cancer and lost my voice.” I said, “You can talk.”

I visited the moon last week and it didn’t have a good atmosphere and the people weren’t very down to earth

I got sacked from my job at the local pet shop. I got caught with my hand in the trill.

If hungary was an African country , it would be called Starving.

Walk in fridges. Pretty cool.

I was with my wife and a few friends before her big charity event today, and everyone was feeling quite nervous. I said, “You could cut the tension with a knife!” She freaked out and decided not to do the bungee jump.

What do you call a university full of fat girls studying neuroscience? A hippocampus.

Phobophobia scares me.

I’ve been trying to climb the ladder at work for about a year now, maybe I’m just not cut out to be a fireman.

All this turmoil sparked by one black guy Shame on you Barack Obama…

Scaffolding. I’m a supporter.