Category: wordplay

I like to think Im technologically savvy, I don’t dry my washing in the tumble dryer anymore, I do it all online.

My mate Dave is ambidextrous well, that’s not completely right

I went to a bed shop and said, “I would like to buy a mattress.” The cashier said, “A spring mattress?” I said, “Well I was hoping for one I could use all year round.”

I had to buy a belt sander – I couldn’t quite get the leather through the little loops on my jeans.

I went to buy a walking stick earlier today but the only ones they had in stock were barely two feet long. I asked the salesman about it and he said they were short staffed…

I got a letter telling me that I had to keep the kids home from school today for all day striking action. Im doing my best but its only 11pm and the back of my hand is already killing me!

I entered the National Mopping Championship. I cleaned up.

It seems ridiculous that Cook wasn’t initially picked by the World Taekwondo Federation. I mean, WTF.

My first wife who was Thai died last year… Of testicular cancer.

I’m thinking about buying a greyhound, don’t know what the wife is going to say so I’ll run it by her first.

I’ve been trying to get my friends baby to say its first word all morning, I’m going to give it one more try then I’m going to knock it on the head. Then if that doesn’t work i give up.

It was so hot at the kid’s playground I came in my shorts.

My maths teacher keeps telling me I don’t like ‘Sine(P)’ weird old man trying to get me with his reverse trigonometry

As I was digging my nose the other day, I suddenly thought to myself…. This shovel will seriously damage my face.

A new book out today. The korean canine training manual 50 ways to wok your dog