Category: wordplay

What do u call a smoky doll? Barbie Q!

There’s this girl that works in McDonalds. She’s a little bit fat, but I wouldn’t half pounder.

A new record has been broken for the worlds shortest man. He’s Arthur Meter.

My girlfriend had a job testing chocolate body cream, It made her very rich.

Felix the cat, he’ll get a furry tongue.

When Jonathan Ross signed up for a Twitter account, he was asked why. “I just wanted to tweet myself”, he said.

My son really annoys me when he’s dunking his biscuits. I wouldn’t mind but he’s got crumbs all over the basketball court.

I have really cheesy feet. The other day I found them in the living room watching Glee.

P. Swayze. He’s missing atrick.

I went to play golf with the guys from work. Just as we got to the first hole my boss asked, “Have you brought your tee?” I said, “Nah, I’ll have it when I get home.”

I was listening to Radio 5 Lives Wimbledon Coverage. That lesbian Clair Balding saying “Safina is pumping her fist hard at her box”. Radio does not always paint the perfect picture!

I don’t know why the Australians are getting so upset about their floods. It’s just a bit of light relief.

All day today I’ve been in the park flashing at kids I love my new camera

I got a 24 hour clock from a car boot for only 10p. They’ll be so mad, it’s lasted far longer

My wife told me to quit my obsession with chip shop jokes… …needless to say I battered her!