Category: wordplay

A vertically challenged, mixed heritage hermaphrodite was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia.. It’s political correctness gone mad..

I just got thrown out of our local hospital for misusing a breast-scanning unit… Or Binoculars, as the Security Guard insisted on calling them.

I got battered on the weekend. Then served with chips, mushy peas and a lemon wedge. That put me in my plaice.

Did you hear about the surgery performed in Prague? They succeeded in separating siamese twins joined at the hip. And after 16 hours in surgery…. the doctor handed each parent a separate Czech

I really hate people who express their views over the internet.

I don’t know why Agatha Christie books are so popular, it’s just a mystery to me.

I just wish everyone would get off my back… It makes running from the scene so much harder.

Broke the lift at work today Didn’t go down well

Its Christmas Eve, its Christmas Eve! … … Eve? John held back the tears as he realised Eve had past away on Christmas day.

Can a bald person have a hairline fracture ?

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there […]

I racked my brains for a bit, they looked much more organised.

Europe has adopted Mickey Mouse money. As my mate Angus said, “The Euro disnae work as a system of currency.”

I just sent a postcard back home to my ex-girlfriend, it read: The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

I have killed my last six wives. I have now married again & I intend to kill my new wife in the morning. After tomorrow I think I can safely say that ‘Widower 7’ was my idea.