Category: wordplay

When we were at the beach, my kid asked me if I’d make the lobster he found look like Zoidberg, but I told him I had bigger fish to Fry.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that a lot of people die of natural causes.

I bought a slinky yesterday. That’s when things started going downhill…

Hole punch: The Katie Price method of masturbating.

I dropped a bottle of ketcup on my foot It caused immense pain To ma toes

Depeche Mode have opened a pizzeria up. Apparently it specialises in custom toppings specifically your own, personal cheeses.

A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry sir, I can’t serve you, you’re off your face!”

I was at the carousel at the airport and there was one piece of luggage left going round. The guy next to me had lost something so I thought it might be his but apparently this wasn’t the case.

I have a condition where I absolutely must buy things before they are publicly released. It’s know as Obsessive Compulsive Pre-Order

It’s a lot of peoples dream to have a one night stand. Granted, a lot of those people don’t have any legs.

I remember when I was diagnosed colourblind, it was completely unexpected, out of the purple.

Dyson airblade, the future doesn’t suck. It blows

They say that Clovers with 4 leaves are good luck… Mine just ruined my toast.

The founder of Ikea, Ingvar Kamprad is a multi-billionaire. Ironically, self-made.

A BBC News Reader had their autocue stolen today. When asked to comment he had nothing to say.