Category: wordplay

I once knew a nun who liked to wear lots of different colours. Come to think of it, she had a lot of unusual habits.

I love these jokes about the depeche mode. I just can’t get enough.

My wife said we should have an acronym contest. I said stfu.

Neighbours pointed out that Ivy on our roof was getting dangerous. I told them there was nothing I could do. Once Nan sobered up, she’d stop throwing slates and come down herself.

I’m worried that my wife is smoking too much. Maybe I should have dried her out a bit before I threw her on the bonfire.

My mate was trapped in a burning house, but then strolled casually out with a fun bag and a piece of cake. Must have been friendly fire.

I got accused of stealing the mugs at work Why would I do it? Its just not my cup of tea

My girlfriend hates me spooning her. I can’t help it, I love the taste.

I could hear my wife in the bathroom earlier and all she kept saying was “E A I U O” I think she was having a vowel movement.

The first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club.

BBC News: News of the world folded I wouldn’t worry, this happens all the time.

If there’s one job thats suitable for me it’s an auctioneer. I know lots.

43 dead, while 75 left seriously injured after a Dr Pepper lorry crashed into primary school. I’m pretty sure that’s the worst that could’ve happened.

Getting on the bus I realised that there were no seats left for me to sit on, so reluctantly I had to hold tightly onto one of those poles for the entire journey. I wasn’t happy about it. Then again, I doubt he was thrilled about it.

I went on a date last week, and at the end of the evening she promised to kiss me if I stood on one leg. I haven’t heard a thing from her ever since? We must have got off on the wrong foot