Category: transport

A dirty old man in a grey trenchcoat flashed at me earlier. So i raised my hand to thank him and proceeded to turn out of the junction and safely join the carriageway.

My uncle was always safety conscious. At the end of every day, he would take out all the plugs and switch off all the lights. Perhaps that’s why he got sacked from being an air traffic controller.

FOR SALE: Golf Buggy, complete with nearly a whole set of clubs. All it needs is a driver.

I had a nightmare driving to work today. Luckily the sound of horns managed to wake me up.

I lost 6 pints of blood today in a terrible road accident. I’m sure that’s the last time the transfusion service will use me as a driver.

My girlfriend went for her driving test today. Her mates told her to wear something revealing, to sway the examiners decision. It didnt work – I was the examiner.

Remember: if you’re going on a long journey, CHECK YOUR TYRES. There should be four of them, apparently.

My driving instructor’s got an electric car. It’s got joule controls.

Some people say my Altima looks like me. A G that got beat with the ugly stick.

Two years ago, I could’ve bought a tyre for 6, this year it cost me 20. That’s inflation for you!

I’ve just failed my driving test! Apparently, cheap eggs and veg are not what you should look out for up a country lane.

I was driving home the other day when I hit and killed my own wife. It was incredibly tragic but I really can’t stand back-seat drivers.

No Sat Nav! Im on a bridge I cant turn left, I need to change this to a mans voice.

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.

Just had my provisional license confiscated for speeding. I’m a fast learner.