Category: transport

lately I’ve been hearing a few people complaining about driving to work in the dark and driving home in the dark. Women.

I read a train safety leaflet this morning which says, “Don’t walk on tracks; high voltage current dangerous”. So it’s nothing to do with the trains then?

I promised my son I’d buy him a trick bike for his birthday today. Saved myself some money though…I told him it had disappeared.

Just watching a program about the HMS Invincible. Does that sound a bit like a challenge to you too?

I accidentally booked the wrong flight tickets for my wife last week and now she’s on the warpath. Helmand Province, to be exact.

I am a very careful driver. I always look left and right before running someone over.

I have just finished my time machine, still got a few teething problems though. So far I can only get it to go forwards in time and only very slowly.

I was gonna get a BMW and rang my dad who knows a bit about cars. He said, ‘You can’t get a German car after what your granddad went through in the war.’ Now I didn’t know about this but apparently, during the Second World War, my granddad had a succession of very unreliable German […]

Britain’s airports have been badly hit by snow and ice, meaning hundreds of flights have been grounded Why has no one ever thought of making Indoor Airports

My Hamster has got really aggressive lately. It happens every time he gets behind the wheel.

My wife complained I wasn’t supportive enough when she was learning to drive. “I’m right behind you love,” I said. Then I muttered to myself, “because it’s probably safer.”

I come from a broken home. My wife reversed the car into it.

When approaching a zebra crossing on foot, always sniff back some snot into the back of your throat. That way, you’re always well-equipped, should a driver decide not to stop. Works especially well with top-down convertibles.

My car just sailed through the M.O.T That’s because its actually a boat.

I was at the airport today. The announcer said that unaccompanied bags would be destroyed so I told the wife to stay where she was.