Category: transport

I saw a woman driving a police car yesterday. Whatever next…?

What follows are real excuses from drivers when asked to sum up their accident in the fewest words possible: 1. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran him over. 2. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. 3. […]

Air Bags – So you can live to enjoy being a cripple for the rest of you life

I got stranded at a French airport on my trip from Baghdad to my home town in North Wales. I was stuck between Iraq and a hard place to spell

Today i rode a virgin for 2.5 hours. Had to stop every now and again, but just kept on going. It was a squeeze to get in and it was unbelievably tight throughout. Eventually i “arrived” and i felt a great sense of relief. I love trains.

A flight attendant was fired from Virgin Airlines for placing a baby in an overhead compartment. To be fair, the baby did not fit under the seat.

You know when the price of fuel is high when its cheaper to run your car on Redex.

I was walking back from the pub last night and saw someone so drunk that they walked up to a truck, stroked the bonnet and whispered: “I know your secret, Optimus Prime”

Ive just bought a new car which will help me get from A to B, the only problem is ……. i live in Kew

Since I started gardening with Doc Brown and Marty McFly they’ve stopped me growing simple flowers and encouraged me to grow complicated vegetables. I really miss the good old days of flower growing – I wish I could go back to the fuchsias.

I’ve just come back from a 17th century trip in my time machine. I’d love to tell you about it, but it’s all history now.

Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, that anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

I’ve got a clean driving license. I always keep it in the little plastic sleeve.

My new hobby: Going for the high-score on those ‘Your speed is->’ signs.

I bet the wife that she couldn’t get the car out of the garage within 10 minutes. As soon as we shook hands, she was full of regret. We both knew there was no way she could back out of It.