Category: transport

The Smart Car The only car so small there’s not enough room inside for you to change your mind.

I walked into the newsagents and asked if they sold Oyster Cards. The cashier said, “For the bus?” I said, “No, it’s my oyster’s birthday.”

I sat there with a smile on my face as my girlfriend wrapped her hand around it and started to tug at it. An even bigger smile when she gave it a little wiggle and started moving it around. I couldn’t contain myself when she started using two hands, so I eventually laughed out: “Here, […]

I love the look on people’s faces, standing soaked in the rain at the bus stop as I drive past. It’s partly why I became a bus driver.

You know when you read a book in the car and it makes you feel sick? I find that long before that happens, you crash.

On the train? No ticket? Ticket inspector approaching? Just open your mouth, dribble and bang your head against the window over and over, he won’t bother you.

I bought half a mast today. It was a 50% SAIL.

I was visiting a mate today and got a bit lost on the way. I stopped at a garage to ask for directions and before i knew it id had a complete service on the car, 4 new tyres and a full tank of petrol. All done in 4.8 seconds i cant remember what the […]

No Aviva, I don’t want you to make the other ten months of my car insurance more expensive so I get ‘two months free’.

My next door neighbour’s battery went in his Smart car today. I had to give him a jump start from my iPod.

My Driving instructor told me that 90% of all accidents come from behind. Funny, I’ve never seen two cars reverse into each other.

I just watched the video “My tram experience” on youtube and I was shocked. I thought “Does my voice really sound like that?”

Yesterday I was driving home when I noticed a black man holding a sign “slow down, road works ahead” Sad really, the guy must have been cheaper than an iron pole.

I went to visit my wife in hospital after she got run over by a car. She said she felt tyred and exhausted.

“Air India welcomes back ‘chubby’ air hostesses” The flying helmet works, I don’t think they’ll appreciate all the racist jokes, though.