Category: transport

I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, “Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side.” It made me cross.

Everytime the wife’s out of the way, I give my 8 year old, Harley, a good ridin’ and after years of punishment, she’s still as tight as ever. It’s that feeling of complete power and sense of danger that gets me going. Man I love bikes.

My wife told me I was having a ‘mid-life crisis’ earlier. I nearly fell out my Subaru.

I was so nervous on my first time that i cried in her arms and went limp in front of her… Still think i done alright on my driving test though.

BMW to recall thousands of cars worldwide. Sounds like braking news to me.

The Police stopped me for doing 130mph driving down the middle of the road, I said to them that I was doing nothing wrong! “How do you think that sir?” The officer asked. “It says on the bottom of my drivers licence ………. ‘Tear Along Dotted Line’!”

Why did the man sleep under the car? Because he wanted to get up really oily.

My wife wanted some help with her car, because she’d heard that making your vehicle lighter saves fuel. We started taking out things she doesn’t need. She took out some shoes and a blanket, and I removed the reverse gear.

I just read isaacjcksn’s joke: “I’m contemplating inventing a plane with no wings then selling it to British Airways. I know what you’re thinking; it’ll never take off.” Look in the Atlantic ocean somewhere, you’ll find it has already been invented.

My car won’t start because the breathaliser that they fitted after I got my last DUI says I’m at twice the limit. Which AA should I call?

The last time I went on holiday, I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take more toilet paper in future.

Saw a black bloke putting up a road sign saying “39 casualties in 12 months on this road” Long story short, I changed it to 40 and went on my way.

Apparently it can be really dangerous listening to the radio with your ear pressed right up against it, especially on the motorway.

My Boy racer neighbour keeps on about getting his Golf Gti lowered, So I thought I’d help by putting some nails under his tyres.

My god, the traffic these days is a state. Just the other day, I rear-ended a woman at rush hour. I’m glad I don’t own a car.