Category: transport

I was playing Need For Speed on my phoneearlier, it was incredible. I reached nearly 80mph in oncoming traffic before smashingthrough a barrier into a field. I should probably stop playing games when I’m driving.

I used to have terrible problems with rucksacks, couldn’t figure out how to wear them. But I’ve managed to put it all behind me now.

Whenever I travel on a train I always take a horse with me. Why? When was the last time you heard of a horse in a train crash?

AA Route Planner really needs to start its directions at number five – I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood thanks.

saw 7 mini’s on the way home. the woman sitting next to me on the bus was NOT happy.

I was on a date with this really attractive girl. Well, it wasn’t a date, date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.

I saw a sign today that read: Tiredness kills, take a break. So I pulled over and went to sleep. When I woke up I felt great and was ready to drive again. I was 5 hours late for work though.

I took my car in for a service today. You know you’re day is going to get worse when the diagnostic machine starts tutting.

Polish Sat Nav: ..yawrotom nwod no-daeh dna 11 noitcnuj ta 1M eht nioJ

I think chevrons are there just to keep women driving in the right direction.

The wife and I had a lovely drive out to a country pub yesterday but, while we were there, I had rather a lot to drink. Well, it’s better to be safe than sorry… …so I still drove us home.

My wife absolutely stops at nothing. Especially now I’ve removed the brakes from her car.

Just got back from the future………..You wouldn’t believe how many blades they have on razors

I removed my wipers from my car yesterday. Let’s see them give me a parking ticket now.

My motto in life is ”you get out what you put in”, which is why my car does so little miles per gallon.