I was the first in my fam …
I was the first in my family for the next 73 generations to successfully time-travel.
Continue ReadingI was the first in my family for the next 73 generations to successfully time-travel.
Continue ReadingEveryone lost an hour sleep last night… Apart from Jocky Wilson.
Continue ReadingAfter getting a job at the clock factory, I asked my new boss: “What hours will I do?” He said, “Are you stupid? All 12 of them.”
Continue ReadingMy wife left me a week ago because of my ridiculous grasp of time. It’s been the loneliest million hours of my life.
Continue ReadingI started throwing up before I got on the plane.. does that make me terminally ill?
Continue ReadingThe Sun: Baby P killer is free on Friday What do we need to do, collect the tokens?
Continue ReadingAmericans have there dates the wrong way round… maybe that’s why they were late…
Continue ReadingYou know summer’s coming soon when the clocks change and the paedos come out of hibernation.
Continue ReadingThis new sundial I bought is useless. It doesn’t say whether it’s AM or PM.
Continue ReadingTravelling into the future is easy. It just takes a while.
Continue ReadingIf I could go back and talk to my younger self, I’d say “Don’t worry about anything. In the future you’ll invent a time machine.”
Continue ReadingThey’re going to put a clock on the leaning tower of Pisa. That way it’ll have both the time and the inclination.
Continue ReadingWas reading an article about the clocks going back at 2am and came across this; “However some 90 years after it was first introduced, critics say by changing the clocks we adversely affect our body’s natural rhythms.” They’re quick off the mark aren’t they?
Continue ReadingThe last time I went to the doctors he told me that I was going blind. I haven’t seen him since.
Continue ReadingTime flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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