Category: stupid

Someone just put a note through my door. All it said was “A mys”. It’s a bit of a mystery.

I’ve just watched the African version of The Goonies. Hey you flies…..

I’ve invented a sword that has a pen in the handle. I’ll be invincible.

I would really like to know how Oreo can just decide what milks favorite cookie is.

If I had 1 word to describe today, it would be “Tuesday”.

Had a prostate exam the other day. I am so happy. I was starting to think I would die a virgin.

I really let my hair down last night. I bought a wig and got caught trying it on.

My job is really stressful, every day I have to deal with murderers, terrorists and rapists. I’m starting to regret ever opening a balaclava shop.

My daughter came home from school and told me she thinks she’ll be cleverer than her parents when she grows up. That’s my boy.

I’ve just bought the wife a smart car. And she instantly fell in love with it. Personally I thought it looked stupid in a Tuxedo.

I dumped my girlfriend at the top of the Eiffel Tower. She’s always wanted to go on a romantic break.

I’ve recently bought a new mobile phone, its got all the latest gadgets, Internet, camera, MP3 player, etc. Now to find someone to call.

Did you go see Sarcasm, the Movie? No, we just hung round the cinema for two hours.

I went for a job interview yesterday. The manager asked me, “What’s your strongest point?” I pulled my arm back, quickly poked him in the eye and said, “That!”

My wife was furious when she discovered that Macauley Culkin was going to be staying with us for a few days. Particularly when the paint tin smashed into her teeth at the front door.