Category: stupid

My buddy got busted for counterfeiting.he was making pennies. They caught him because he was putting the heads and the tails on the wrong sides.

My granddad’s a chess master, but after 6 years of playing, I’ve finally won my first game against him. I hope the second game’s shorter though.

There are Two Great Rules of Life 1. Never tell everything at once.

I tried to find a corner shop this afternoon, but couldn’t find one. I just ended up going round in circles.

I used to get terrorized by a ghost every night until one day I came home from a waterfowl themed fancy dress party Turns out he wouldn’t say boo to a goose

It is said that America will soon take second place to China as a global innovator, mainly due to the ‘dumbing down’ of American popular culture. That’s not the kind of thinking that sent Neil Armstrong and Buzz Lightyear to the Moon.

I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds… People get out the way much faster now.

Just bought a new wooden car. Wooden wheels, wooden seats, wooden roof, wooden boot, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden engine, wouldn’t start

My friends pointed out that I have developed an obsession with making lists. So i wrote down some method’s of how I can stop. 1. …

Clearly neither capitalism nor communism worked, so I think the logical next step is alcoholism.

Um Bongleton They drink it in Congleton.

At this time of year, there’s nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. And that’s why I’m no longer a fireman.

I’ve just seen a Parasite… It was full of disabled pikeys.

Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could end up quoting 80s movies without realising.

I was sitting in my car with my head in my hands this morning, when two young blokes approached me and asked if I was okay. “Not really” I replied, “My car won’t start and I’m going to be late for work.” “Would you like us to push you?” they asked. “That would be great” […]