Category: stupid

My wife suggested we play Pictionary. She stood at the front of the room and held 4 fingers up… “Four words” I said She then proceeded to make a winding motion with her hand “Jack in the box” I shouted.

I think my house is haunted. I keep hearing moaning coming from my sisters room.

Apparently, librarians don’t go for a poo. They go for a sssshhhhhhhit.

Why do Hitchhikers give me bad looks when I throw a ‘Thumbs-up’ back at them?

My attention span is so low I don’t even

My friends keep telling me that I’m stupid for giving out my email address on loads of websites. Joke’s on them though, because a Nigerian prince is about to transfer $86,000,000 into my bank account!

Next year I want to hold a super hero convention but I’m not sure where… I’m thinking Cape town.

It’s been said that as soon as you drive a new car off a dealer’s forecourt it will decrease in value by 1000 I’ve been driving around this dealership for three weeks now.

Five hours yesterday the car was stuck in drifts going to work. It wouldn’t go forwards or backwards and digging it out was no use. Thank God for those survival programmes … Every hour or so, I struck up the engine to keep warm and I had an old bottle in the car to melt […]

Headline: Boy wrongly accused of stealing a bag of crisps wins 6,000 defamation case. Must have been a bag of Walkers that he nicked

My mate thought it’d be funny to teabag me last night. Don’t think he really gets the concept, I reek of Earl Grey now.

I considered suicide until I found out it is actually illegal. I don’t want to go to jail.

I pulled last night at the club and after a few shots, I went home to get my wife to join in. But she’s not interested in clay pigeons.

I visited the animal rescue centre today and got a dog with no legs. My girlfriend thinks I’m an amazingly caring man. I’m not, I just really hate walking.

Never cross a road on your own. They know some real cycle paths.