Category: stupid

I’ve a horrible feeling I’m under surveillance. I’ve been looking at Google Street View and the same van has been outside my house for days now.

BBC News: Skier froze to death and lives. Somehow I dont think that is possible.

Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease was named after its discoverer.. Dr John Disease.

I was playing snooker with my mate when we noticed we’d been playing for 23 hours. He said to me, “Shall we play for another hour?” “Yeah why not,” I replied, “we may as well make a day of it.”

My son’s nut-sack is now a lot bigger than mine. He’s left our peanut farm to work on a coconut plantation.

The wasp who has just landed in my pint of lager doesn’t look happy. I’m not surprised, he probably didn’t realise it was Fosters.

I worried so much that my hair would fall out due to stress, it did.

I’m not giving that bloke back his money on Ebay, it was perfectly fine when I wrapped and posted it. And how was I to know he wanted to collect his puppy?

My gym instructor approached me today and asked my reasons for staring so intensely at a Dumbbell. “My doctor said I need to watch my weight,” I replied.

I’ve got a rabbit’s foot, but i don’t consider it lucky at all. I’ve walked with a limp my whole life.

I asked the wife what she wanted for her birthday.She said she wanted something that turns heads. Why would anyone want another neck?

The sheep that we get wire wool from has no known natural enemies.

On my 6th Birthday my uncle gave me a present I will never forget. Aids

It was a dark and stormy night and all the light’s were out, then there was a tap on the window. What a stupid place to put a tap.

My mates think it’s brilliant that my daughter has got a job at the station. I guess I do too, but I still haven’t worked out where the town of ‘Babe’ is yet.