Category: stupid

I saw Dappy from N-Dubz in town today. He was preaching about the apocalypse. He said, “The end is na na nigh”

I was very pleased earlier when I finally opened the box with my new blow up doll in…. She looked so surprised to see me.

You think after 6 series they would have discovered what the X-factor is, to be honest i just keep watching to see if they ever find it.

I just watched the 2011 remake of “The Six Million Dollar Man.” It wasn’t very good. “We can’t rebuild him. We don’t have the money.”

I have created a repulsive half man, half marine mammal that has disturbed me to the very core. Oh, the humanatee!

I saw a woman struggling to get her buggy off the bus today. As her child was getting flung from side to side, I could see that she was becoming increasingly stressed, so I walked over and said, “Do you mind if I have a go?” “Be my guest,” she replied. I took her kid […]

Paddy says to his wife, “I just saved five pounds in the shop” “How did you manage that”, says the wife Paddy replies, “Well they had two loafs of bread for five pounds, so i didn’t buy any” “Stupid man, why did you not buy four and save Ten pounds”.

My wife: Thats a lovely cow Me: Yeah, it’s a Jersey My wife: Really? I thought it was his skin.

My children were sadly killed in a crazy playground accident earlier this week. However, I got to keep the rides which ended their lives. Swings and roundabouts.

As I went through the car wash my first thought was that it’s shocking how much water actually gets used in here, Second thought was I wish I had a car.

What came first, the suggestion or the suggestion box?

My girlfriend left me because I speak incoherent gibberish. But as I always say; has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

I walked into a bank today and said, “Can you change this 20 note for me?” “Sure” said the cashier, “What would you like?” I said, “A 50 note.”

I do some bingo calling at the local care home every Sunday. My wife wanted to help out one week, so I let her have a go. She picked out the first ball and shouted, “Oi!” The old dears looked scared and confused, so I took the ball off my wife, turned it the right […]

Strictly speaking, the tomato isn’t a vegetable. It’s really a kind of dolphin.