Category: stupid

Final Fantasy XIII. Not final really then is it.

My father always wanted me to be a Lieutenant when I got older. That’s why he named me Lieutenant when I was born.

Whilst watching the Sunderland game of Match of the Day last night my Missus turned to me and said “I thought that Bent played for England not Sunderland?” God help me…

I have an irrational fear of remotes, it’s getting out of control.

If i was given a penny for everytime i answered a question vaguely… I would have a lot of pennies

BBC News: “Men tell more lies than women” No we don’t.

I took my son to the pub last night. The manager said, “Sorry mate, he’s not allowed in here.” I said, “What do you mean?” He said, “There’s a sign on the door that says No Children After 9.” I said, “Well he’s ok then, he’s not 9 until next week.”

Got stopped by a policeman today. “Any idea how fast you were going back there?” He said, “Listen mate, I’ll ask the questions.”

Just bought a ticket to the time travelers convention. It was awesome.

I love selling stuff on the internet to people who don’t know you. I’ve already sold the same homing pigeon 24 times on eBay.

I took this personality test on the internet, and it said… “Describe yourself in one word.” I answered, “Not good at following instructions.”

My wife suggested we try a little role reversal in the bedroom. I can’t wait! Now it is her turn to wear the French maid dress and fishnet stockings.

Me & the girlfriend are like chalk & cheese. I’m usually found at the side of junior football pitches, while she tempts them into the car with Dairylea triangles.

BBC News: Forensic tests on river remains Seems a bit pointless to me. Fairly sure it will come back as H2O

Found a wallet. If your VISA card is 4678 2345 2828 9001 exp. 11/12 CVV 810 get in touch as I’ve also got your I.D. and business cards.