Category: stupid

I always thought ‘The Moonwalk’ was overrated so I’ve invented a new dance for moon dwellers called ‘Earthwalk’ where you just simply walk normally.

How does a blonde try to kill a bird? Throws it off a cliff.

“When I was your age, Apple and Blackberry were fruits, not phones!”. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t they still fruits?

Why are all famous artists French? Becuase they were born in France

I ordered some food in the pub last night, the barmaid said, “What table is it?” I replied, “Oak I think.”

Some people say you must have played football to become a manager. I wonder how many jockeys used to be a horse.

My son got his exam results this week, and I have to say, the future’s bright for him. He’s going to have to get a job in the Orange mobile phone shop.

My mate took up a miming job. I haven’t heard from him since.

I honestly don’t know what the correlation between GCSE Child Care and a career in McDonalds is.

I said to my grandad, “Roughly when did you start going bald?” He said, “Off the top of my head, I don’t know”.

I saw my mate in the pub earlier, He’d been in a fight and was bruised all over the place. I asked him if he was ok? He replied ”Yeah but you should see the other guys fists”

What has no nuts and is desperate for a screw? The treehouse I made for my son. And that’s why he’s dead.

“Oi! Get out!” I shouted to the two tramps, “We don’t serve your sort in here.” My Soup Kitchen… My rules.

I’d hate to be in the Swiss army. You have really cool knives but you never get the chance to use them.

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “It’s the RSPCA, Mr Schrodinger. We would like to ask you a few questions.”