Category: stupid

How many Sid James impersonators does it take to change a lightbulb? Phwoar.

Daft Dave walks into work wearing one white shoe and one black shoe. Boss: You look ridiculous. Go home and change your shoes. Dave: No point boss. The only other pair I’ve got is black and white as well.

I realised i’m on this site too much when I only check BBC News for material.

Government aim to reduce Jay-Z’s problems to 75 by 2015

I was out for a walk earlier when I came across two fit young tourists. One of them asked me “Would you mind taking a picture of us?” “Of course I will” I said and so I did. The expression on their face soon changed however when I put my phone back into my pocket […]

My son came home to day after failing his English exam and saw the metal doghouse I had spent the day building. He said “That is welded?” I said “No son, the correct term is Well Done”

I’ve just seen a girls Facebook status saying, ‘Only 32 more sleeps until Turkey, can’t wait’. I commented, ‘Only 200 more sleeps until Turkey, can’t wait’. She wrote, ‘Where abouts are you going? x’ I wrote, ‘Not sure yet, probably just around my mums, she will probably come to me on boxing day x’

The key to a funny joke is a good punchline. Good Punchline.

Two DJs are talking in the pub. “Wanna go see a movie tonight?” asks one. “Dunno” replies the other, “who’s the projectionist?”.

I’ve just had one of those microwave burgers, and on the wrapper of the processed cheese it says ‘Open Here.’ How does it know where I am?

67% of Americans are stupid. I belong with the other 13%

There was a stunned silence when my wife caught me cutting up Jimmy Hill’s dead body. You could have heard a chin drop.

After my girlfriends father died we decided to get married stood on his grave. Well he did say I could marry his daughter over his dead body.

I have never cooked anything before, but last night my wife was out so I attempted to cook myself a frozen meal. The instructions read, ‘Remove the packaging and put it in oven for 25 minutes’ So 25 minutes later I took the packaging out of the oven and thought to myself, “Great, now I’ve […]

I always eat my coco pops fast to avoid the milk turning brown.