Category: stupid

I heard a lot of people complaining about the fog, but I don’t see what the fuss is about. I looked out my window and couldn’t see anything

I just noticed a message on the side of my Stella can, it says ‘Best Before End’. I couldn’t agree more.

I planted a bulb at the start of the summer. I’m hoping to have a nice bedside lamp by Christmas.

I normally like to be frank and ernest on my first dates … But sometimes I just call myself Colin

I hate people who commit suicide alone. If it was me, I’d make people pay money to watch me fight against a lion with a back scratcher. Funeral sorted.

I bought some fireworks on the cheap. They were were fire-damaged stock and to be honest they didn’t go too well.

I got on the bus with a little old lady this morning. She was all bent over and could hardly move. The bus driver looked at the little old lady, then he looked at me and asked, “Can she breathe alright in that holdall mate?”

If at first you don’t succeed, use a lucky pulling brick

I decided to try kick boxing today. Those gloves don’t half make your feet sweat.

TV LISTINGS; 10.40PM – Crimewatch 11.20PM – Women’s World Cup Highlights 11.22PM – FILM:- Predator

I was walking in the middle of a forest when I found a dog all by itself. I took it home and saw that it had a telephone number on its collar. A lady answered when I rang and I said, “I’ve found your dog. If you give me directions, I’ll bring it over.” “Directions […]

Tell you what, Simon Weston looks a lot better without his moustache..but why is he in court and everyone calling him Harry Redknapp?

That’s the last time i open the fridge door without knocking. who knew that i’d see a salad dressing.

I hate jokes about animals they are so irrelephant

There was a big fire at work today. It was OK though. I opened the fire escape and it left.