Category: stupid

Dimmed lights, bursting bladders, six urinals, one with clingfilm over the top – Russian toilette.

My mate has recently bought an house that’s shaped like a globe. He lives in a world of his own.

Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my girlfriend threw at me.

I’m so hardcore I once had spring rolls during winter.

A horse walks into a bar and the barman says, “Why the long face?” The horse replies, “All horses have long faces, it’s a common adaptation found in many creatures evolved for long-distance running in an open-plains environment.” And the barman says, “You’ve ruined this joke.”

I’m going to report the local Natural History Museum to the RSPCA. From the looks of it, they haven’t fed their T-Rex for ages.

The wife’s heard that dark chocolate is less fattening. Now the thick cow’s started eating it with the light off.

I was bidding for a Computer Game on eBay this morning, when I suddenly got a message saying ‘You Have Won This Item’ I thought to myself, “That’s a result, I was just about to pay 26 for that.”

I’ve decided to spend a weekend in the Dales. And, if I enjoy it, I’ll spend next week in the Rodneys.

Why do girls with lovely blonde hair dye their roots black?

Women are like cars. They cost a fortune to maintain and you only get to fill them up once every two weeks for 40.

I said to my mate, “The worst thing about this hot weather is the smell of BO from the sweaty Paki’s on the bus.” “I’d say it’s probably the wasps” he replied. “Don’t be silly” I said, “Wasps don’t get BO.”

A German bloke has opened a barbers at the end of our street. Herr Kutt..

I spent 3 hours in the garden center today. I’m not sure why. I just enjoy standing in the middle of the lawn.

My dad’s so tough, he can make radiators bleed.