Category: stupid

I just bought a peak perfomance watch..Turns out it only works at the top of Everest.

There is a man at a blonde convention to prove blonds are not dumb, he politely asks a random woman from the crowd to come up, he asks her ‘what is 5 + 5?’ The blond replies ‘I know this one…. seven!’ The man is about to ask a different person up because this woman […]

Thank god this toaster came with an instruction manual. I almost set a video on fire!

My girlfriend said that my jokes never make any sense because I can’t think up a punchline Well that showed her!

My wife accuses me of dressing like an old man. “Well! At least I don’t talk like one, my dear.”

If I had a nickel for everytime I put a cat in a toaster. I’d have, well, a nickel.

What did Kermit the frog say when he reached the top of Mount Everest? “Muppet!”

No-one seems to remember the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not maketh up false commandments.

I’ve just been approved for an any purpose loan. I’m going to use mine to fund Al-Qaeda.

My friend, Jean, decided to arrange a get together for all of the other Jeans in town, considering it was a fairly unusual name. She planned it for weeks and weeks, sending out invites and such, and she arranged for them to all meet up outside a particular club in town. She was surprised to […]

I had to resit my science test today because I answered a question wrong. Apparently when asked, what is the most explosive substance? The answer isn’t- An ink toner cartridge.

Just got a letter from Royal Mail…. It said ‘Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.’

BBC News: Thousands of Pope tickets unsold I should think so! Never even heard of their music…

They say, ‘No news is good news’. That’s why I cheered when I saw my paperboy get run over.

I had my Xmas party at work last night. I thought the boss would have at least taken us somewhere different.