Category: shopping

Tesco Thick Bleach “Kills germs and bacteria dead” I’d say that was thick alright

I was food shopping with my wife when I came across something that was utterly shocking. “Look at this!” I said. “It contains 95% fat!” “You’re just pointing at me in a mirror,” she replied.

It’s a real shame that after 100 years there will soon be no more Woolworth’s. Pick ‘n Mix was great; where will children go now to learn how to shoplift?

Walking through ASDA the other day I saw a Hannah Montana doll on the shelf. As i looked at the doll the only words that stood out on the box were “Try Me”

Subway. The only place where you’d actually be willing to pay a black man to give you 6 inches.

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

My Butcher is selling meat on hire purchase. But you have to have a joint account.

I said to the wife, “I’ve been to Asda today and I got three, yes, three, trolleys full of food for 7 quid. Beat that then.” She said, “Good for you!” I said, “No, smart price.”

Tesco’s slogan should be ‘unexpected item in bagging area’

The wii supposedly brings your family together… well so does a rope.

I was in a shop the other day and the girl behind the counter said: can you come on this till please. So I did

Just took Jessie J’s advice, and “forgot about the pricetag”. Debenhams security guards were not amused.

I went to buy shoes today. I entered the shop. Saw shoes I liked. Got shoes in my size. Tried shoes. Liked shoes. Bought shoes. Left shop. Entire process, 2 minutes 37 seconds. Women take note

I just bought a straight piece of plastic. It rules. ———————————————————— I just bought a grey lump of limestone. It rocks. ———————————————————— I just bought a Dyson. It sucks. ———————————————————— I just bought a fridge, it’s cool

Whats the point in those Tescos self service check-outs, if you have to call a member of staff to put in their code for every other item?