Category: shopping

Whilst out shopping I often wondered what C & A stands for, I’ve just realised it’s to help women to get their knickers on the right way round

I work for tesco and often go down to other supermarkets to see what they do which we don’t. I was walking down the road the other day when i saw in a newspaper: MAN EATEN BY SHARK IN ICELAND. Well we don’t have any sharks at Tesco…

70% off everything in Woolworths today. It’s not even worth shoplifting there now.

Told the wife I’d bought her something black, plastic and 8 inches long for her birthday. The look on her face when she unwrapped a new roll of bin bags…

Was walking in the Tesco entrance earlier to get my weekly shopping, when I read their motto, ‘Why Pay More?’ “Good point,” I thought… “Asda it is then.”

My wife and I went shopping to Tesco’s, and as we were leaving her bag ripped open showering the contents all over the floor. I would have helped, but not when it’s her catheter.

I lost my grandad the other day. He’s not dead, he’s in Ikea.

I would like to congratulate Tesco on their new record breaking bio degradeable shopping bags. My bags started degrading before i even got in the car. Nice one Tesco.

News : ‘Man Killed In Zip Wire Accident’. That’s what happens when you buy trousers from Primark.

They say in shops: “If you break it, then buy it.” Personally I prefer to leave it there and walk away slowly like nothing happened.

Condoms, the only reason I use the self serve checkout.

TK Maxx have had to withdraw their promotion on coats this week A spokesman said, “it’s a shame, we could have made a killing on these…”

The new boss at Tesco insists on only hiring midgets He’s taken the slogan a little too seriously

I love when you get into your taxi, with your six full to the brim Tesco bags and the driver asks, “Been shopping mate?” No, no, I always just carry these around with me.

Why is everyone making such a big deal about the crisis at Iceland. Let’s face it, if the worst comes to the worst I’m going to Tesco.