Category: shopping

Got this new double bed but it’s rubbish and my feet dangle off the end. I hate stupid people. What kind of stupid idiot designs a bed that’s wider than it is long?

I saw an offer on the net for ’12 bottles of wine, 25% less’. I thought cracking offer, I’ll have that. It came today, 9 bottles…

I’ve got a pair of shoes for every day of the year. In fact I’m wearing them right now.

I went into a dry cleaners today. “How much for two suits?” “25, sir.” “And do you do alterations?” “Yes, sir.” “Good, can you make it 15?”

I was in Burger King earlier and after waiting I noticed that the obese woman on the till had written on her top ‘Too cool for school’ i suppose that’s why she was working at Burger King then.

Got kicked out of an antiques store today because my payment was not “full” apparently the fact that the vase was 2nd hand was not an excuse.

I called the Shopping channel the other day and the girl who answered the phone asked if she could help. I said, “No thanks, I’m just browsing.”

Where does a one-handed man shop? The second hand shop.

I have a sudden urge to spend money I don’t have on things I don’t need. I think I may be in touch with my feminine side.

I was just about to go to Waitrose to buy a pint of milk, but then I realised that I only had 40 on me.

I knew there was something wrong with Lidl, when I spent more money on the plastic bags than the food.

Went to PC World earlier… Had to be careful of what I said…

My parents got a new outfit for my newborn son. The label read: ‘NEXT’ Baby. KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE’. “You just can’t let it go, can you?” I snarled.

It’s a scientific fact that you’re more likely to see John Terry at a reggae convention than you are to ever pay full price for a sofa in DFS.

Tesco Value Toilet Tissue – You can tell it’s recycled because you can still see the stains.