Category: science

My government funding got stopped today. After ten years of trying, I’ve still failed to cross human DNA with a sock.

I dropped acid today. Never again will I attempt Chemistry with wet hands.

I invented a time machine… With hindsight.

Invertebrates give in to pressure far too easily, They’ve no backbone.

My science teacher said I had lots of potential today. He then pushed me off a roof.

Let’s go back to simple mechanics for a moment.

Prisoners have built a replica of the large hadron collider to try and break out of prison. Police describe it as a real concern.

At the lab today we mixed nitrous oxide with mustard gas. God it was great – we laughed until we cried!

Scientists have discovered that chickens are closely related to humans i don’t agree, i’ve never had a chicken breast with a nipple.

Dont drink water while studying, Scientists say concerntration decreases when you add water.

I thought I’d found a way to square root negative numbers. I must have been imagining things.

Scientists have discovered a noise just before the big bang. It sounds something like: “Oops!”

At a cinema near you APOLLO 18. Why we never went back! Is that because you didn’t actually go?

I just found a cask of Nitrous oxide. It’s a right barrel of laughs

Heisenberg gets pulled over by the police for speeding. “Do you know how fast you were going sir?” “No – but I know exactly where I am”