Category: science

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I’m easily lead.

Chavs – The product of a rare event in nature in which evolution starts to work backwards.

Over the past few weeks I have been trying the “special K” diet… I can’t see any difference but now every time I jump in a swimming pool I fizz and burst into lilac flames.

I could tell you all there is to know about atoms, but i dont want to Bohr you

I wish I was DNA helicase. Then I could unzip your jeans.

I have written a new song about the effects of Frequencies in the Human Body. I’ve called it Everybody Hertz.

Went to the school nurse the other day to get an ice pack for my leg, she asked me if I knew how it worked. I said of course, it’s a simple exothermic reaction.

My wife is like a Nitrogen and Silver mix NAg, NAg, NAg

If the chemical symbol for water is H2O, is the symbol for ice H2O?

Heisenberg’s wife was unhappy because when he had the time he didn’t have the energy, and when he had the position he didn’t have the momentum!

Guardian: Scientists create GM mice with stutter to study condition’s causes Let me save you the time. In this instance, you’re going to find that scientists caused it.

Physics would have been so much easier….IF….The “Tree” had fallen on Newton’s head instead of the apple…

Trigonometry jokes are a sine of the times.

A woman approached me in town with a clipboard. “Are you happy with your energy supplier?” she asked. “I think so,” I replied, “unless you’ve come up with a biological alternative to carbohydrates.”

So scientists are still predicting another Ice Age? No worries i’ve seen the movie, It’s gonna be another fun family adventure!