Category: science

Action potentials really get on my nerves.

Iran has launched a rocket into orbit today carrying a rat… or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as he’s more commonly known.

So subatomic particles have gone faster than the speed of light, my theory of special relativity is wrong, and a core principle of Physics has been disproved…. What do I care, I’m dead – Albert Einstein, 2011

What did Magnesium say to Calcium? We’ve got good chemistry! I can tell from your face that it was not a good reaction. I think this joke needs another element.

Scientists have announced today that they have manage to grow meat in a laboratory…. my meat regularly grows outside my local primary school but I don’t feel the need to go to the papers.

So they have found a new particle that travels faster than light now? We certainly didn’t see that one coming.

My request to study physics at Oxford university has been declined. Apparently putting “Because it’s gods plan” as the answer to every question isn’t the best way to get in.

Just invented a new type of meat that can only be produced by launching a bovine towards a pig at the speed of light. I call it the Hoggs Bison.

Following on from the discovery that it’s possible to go faster than the speed of light, scientists today found a temperature lower than Absolute Zero. It was observed in a sausage roll from Greggs

Gravity is very humbling. It really helps to keep your feet on the ground.

BBC Sci-Tech News: “Bacteria have a sense of smell.” So there’s no bacteria in France then.

Me and you love, we’re like an excited nucleus of U-236…we have to split up.

Not many people knew that Albert Einstein had a brother that an evil scientist used to experiment on. His name was Frank Einstein

My battery joke didn’t work. I thought it had potential.

I will be sticking to my old Gillette Fusion razor and not upgrading to the Gillette Fusion Proglide as I prefer a more strenuous “tug and pull”.