Category: school

I got my A level results today. I got 3 A’s. A d, A e, and A U.

My school was so rough… The school magazine had an obituary column.

Sky News reports “25 school pupils dead in blast” Proof that truancy sometimes has advantages.

When I found out that my son was being picked on and tormented, I took matters into my own hands and went down to the school to confront the bullies myself. I thought I was helping but he was furious when he found out what I had done. He said I completely destroyed his credibility […]

I’ve been suspended from school for another three days. When my science teacher asked me what my favourite element was, karate chopping her and saying “Element of Surprise” was wrong.

In exams, we look up for inspiration, down for desperation, left and right for information.

I tried teaching one of my students what “sharing” means.I showed him videos of kids and adults sharing, nothing.I described real life examples and still nothing.After an endless amount of teaching, the act of sharing still confused him. I gave up. “Shalom” he said as he left the room.

I was stopped by a policeman yesterday after he caught me truanting from school in the cinema yesterday. He said “Shouldn’t you be in school?” “No, I’m home-schooled, officer, by my mum” I replied “Shouldn’t you be at home learning from your mum then?” He asked. “Teacher Training Day” I said.

My English teacher taught me to write about what I know. He regretted that when I handed in my story about an old depressed English teacher, whose wife is leaving him.

At school I was always getting in trouble for fighting, throwing things and disrupting lessons. But I never once regret my years as a teacher.

My English teacher told me that I don’t understand the concept of explaining things properly in my written work, it made me feel this small.

I was reading the paper this morning and shouting about how much I hate immigrants. Then the exam invigilator said, “Oi, be quiet or I’ll disqualify you.”

Got my results today, and like the thousand of other spotty tennagers i am over joyed. The condom worked and the girlfriend isn’t pregnant.

My son Robert came home with a really impressive end of term school report this week. Dean Fisher’s parents must be very proud of him.

I saw a guy sneakily copying my answers in the exam I took yesterday. Joke’s on him though, I didn’t study either.