Category: school

why do we go to school if , school is for learning, learning is knowledge, knowledge is power, power corupts, coruption leads to crime, and crime doesnt pay?

What goes, ‘Two A’s, Three B’s, One C, Two D’s and an E’? The alphabet being recited by a dyslexic.

Good luck to all the 16 year olds getting there GCSE’s results today! And their kids getting SATS.

I live in london,but my mum didn’t want me going to school there because of all the jamaicans. She isnt racist,she just thought i deserved a chance at winning something on sports day

Summer holidays are great…. The 6 weeks where I can share a website with young school kids and not get reported.

As a 55 year old PE teacher you might think I’m getting a bit past it. But actually the stiffness seems to go away after showers.

I remember hearing my grandad tell people he was on one of the first boats to arrive on the beach of Dunkirk but that he was also on one of the first boats back. I think he shot himself in the foot.

An old friend dropped by and we talked about the past while looking through our college yearbook. I pointed out the three girlfriends I banged. He beat me though when he listed his sixteen scores. I would have won but medical cadavers don’t count.

I always give 110% in my job. Which is why I was sacked from the examination board.

I couldn’t be bothered getting my son a costume for his dress up day at school today, so just told him to take the laptop with him. “How’s that dressing up?” my son asked. “Easy, just tell them your a pirate” I replied.

My PE teacher is very strict, if you forget your kit, he makes you do the lesson with no bottoms on! Well, at least the rules apply to him as well, he always forgets to bring his rugby shorts.

I was late for one of my lectures at university the other day. Upon walking in, the lecturer stopped and stared at me and said disdainfully, ‘Come on then, go and sit with your friends’. So I went back home.

I was in school today when my teacher handed me a piece of paper that told me to write everything I know about World War 2. I wrote on the paper, “en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II”

The school register: The kid from Eastern Europe – Check The kid with Tourette’s – Tick The birthday boy – “Present” The deaf kid – “Ear” The kid on drugs – “Hi” The dead kid- “ah late again i see”

It would be great to judge a spelling bee “Spell threw.” “Can you use it in a sentence?” “I threw the ball through the goal.”