Category: school

Playgrounds 1991 – My dad’s tougher than your dad 2011 – My mum’s tattoos are better than your mums

I’m currently studying the ‘Effects of Friction’… It’s gripping stuff.

When I was at school I got an A in English. Which is probably one of the reasons I failed my English exam.

There’s a female teacher at school who’s always telling jokes, but I never see the punchline coming. That’s Miss Direction for you.

As soon as I finished my GCSEs, I dropped English, Maths, all of the Sciences, Art, Geography and French…. … and the rest is history.

My fourteen year old sons school behavior has improved dramatically since I said “Next time you get in trouble I’ll meet you at the school gate… and I’ll be wearing a dress.”

My first lecture was on at university today. The dean entered the lecture hall to introduce himself to our year and said, “Each of you, take a look at the person to your left, and take a look at the person to your right. According to statistics, one of them will fail to graduate this […]

After some of my students pulled a prank on me, I decided to teach them a lesson. Since it’s my job and everything.

There are three things certain in life: 1. Death 2. Taxes 3. Every P.E. teacher has a little bit of paedophile in them.

I remember in primary school we had a cupboard where we would kiss the girls at break time. A lot has changed since my day. Its an abortion clinic now.

My mates and I got our results back today, none of us failed! We all have aids.

ps3’s comes back on online 2 days before all the GCSEs…………good to know sony are trying to keep their target audience, fat, rejected, failures

After a seven year old in my primary school had his leg badly broken in a nasty tackle playing football, the school banned us from playing. Well, us teachers anyway.

My son was expelled from school recently. They had a Victorian themed day and he turned up with his black friend on a chain. That’s my boy!

What’s the difference between a nightclub bouncer and Derby University? A nightclub bouncer won’t let you in if you’ve got a few Es!