Category: sayings

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, why don’t Daleks hide in orchards?

WONDERBRA – Making mountains out of molehills since 1994

My mate is a star. He had a crash and lost his legs. Then the shock made him lose his voice. But does he make a song and dance about it…NO!

My wife keeps reminding me that her mother “lives just around the corner” And that she’s not “Round the bend”

I told my wife that i got a new job as a puppeteer “How on earth did you do that?” she asked “I had to pull a few strings” I replied

When I hear people sighing that life is so hard, I can’t help but think, “Compared to what??”

I’m getting fed-up with Derren Brown for turning up on site unannounced every day.I don’t give a toss if he wants to learn the tricks of the trades.

Just met up with a thirty something girl from a dating website. Turns out it’s stone.

I went to church yesterday and the priest said, ”Body of Christ.” I said, “Thanks for the compliment, but it’s totally down to anabolic steroids.”

As an investment I just bought an antique Samurai sword. If life becomes a struggle it’ll be good to have something to fall back on

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? Next week.

Some guy told me I was ”Flying Low” this morning, I just ignored him. 68 civilian deaths and a suspension without pay later, I’m thinking that I really should take more notice of my Co-Pilot.

In days gone by, when people decided to punish a person by giving them the silent treatment, they called it, “Sending them to Coventry.” Surely a more effective punishment would have been to actually send them to Coventry.

Freedom of speech is wonderful – right up there with the freedom not to listen.

What is the Alzheimer’s society slogan? Remember those who can’t.