Category: sayings

Shanghai’s coaching staff were seen trying to get Didier Drogba to perform a rainbow flick today… Turns out you just can’t teach an old drog new tricks.

I’ve got a mate with Spina Bifida, and he’s a really nice guy. He’d bend over sideways to help anyone.

“Look with your eyes, not with your hands”. I’m never reading a book on etiquette in Braille again.

I have no sense of decency. That way my other senses are enhanced.

I remember Thursday like it was yesterday.

Not unless your names “heroin” Then I wont be taking anyone’s “name in vain”

I walked up to a girl in a nightclub and asked her if she’d like to sit on my face. She said she wants to sleep on it.

The first rule of Hindsight Club is you should’ve known better.

My BBQ was ruined by a black man yesterday. He got all up in my grill.

If first impressions count, you’re best doing what I do and sticking to Dustin Hoffman in ‘Rain Man’.

I often have trouble spelling my own address. “Surrey” seems to be the hardest word.

“trust me, people will remember my name forever.” – anonymous

They say that “Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once”… Which is why both my kids have genetic disorders.

My geography teacher wasn’t happy when he caught me smothering his globe with cheese. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

I’ve been thinking… If poison goes out of date, does it become more or less deadly?