Category: sayings

Great!! I’ve just discovered the number of wrongs that make a right!

My house is burglar-proof; I’ve painted it with 1’s, 2’s, 3’s and 4’s. Safety in numbers.

There’s a saying ‘ Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.’ Never knew what this meant until I heard the screams from the garden.

If winners never quit and quitters never win, what idiot came out with ‘quit while you’re ahead’?

Who coined the term….coined the term?

I’m not tired, I’m just trying to start a yawn trail.

I was so upset when my girlfriend left me because of my obsession with the Red Hot Chili Peppers I dont ever wanna feel like i did that day

My Dad used to say, “I’m a big shot. When I talk, people listen” At least I think that’s what he said. I wasn’t really listening.

Give a monkey a typewriter and he may type out the works of Shakespeare, but give an educated man a laptop and, odds are, he will look at naked women.

My current relationship reminds me a lot of ripping a plaster off, The longer it lasts the worse it feels….

There’s no “I” in team but there’s a “U” in squad.

“The greatest thing about the internet, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington.

My friend came running over to me today, shouting; “I’ve been given tomorrow night’s lottery numbers!!” “Who told you?” I asked. “A conker, with a long grey beard and a walking stick,” he answered. “Oooh that old chestnut,” I replied.

Sometimes I put my hands on the floor, tuck my head to my chest and then push with my feet. Because that’s how I roll.

I was getting chased by the police so decided to head down to the beach and mingle among all the families for a few hours. I knew if I stayed until at least 10:00PM, the coast would be clear.