Category: sayings

I’m finally going to see that new Justin Timberlake film. It’s about time.

I’m trying to figure out why my car is defying the laws of gravity. It’s really driving me up the wall.

Polish saying: Wherever you go, you can’t get rid of yourself. And neither can we!

Just out of curiosity, has anyone actually ever eaten a horse?

People who committ suicide with a fire-arm, always go out with a bang.

My wife said she was at a loose end. So I tightened her noose.

‘ .. So I decided, If you can’t beat them, join them..’ Was not my most popular first post in the ‘Lock up all the child abusers’ facebook group.

They say ‘Every hole’s a goal’, if I was Torres I’d ask for a paternity test.

I come from a broken home. By masturbating at my broken window.

My boss called us all in to the office today and said, “Right you lot, production’s down and I’m not happy! Decisions have had to be made and it’s time to clean house.” “Isn’t that your wifes job?” I replied.

A spoon in the mouth helps when chopping onions. I get the butler to do it.

We just had our quarterly results. Once again, hotcakes seem to be outselling all other products.

everythings all gonna be ok in the end,, if its not ok,, ITS NOT THE END

My Dad taught my sister that women should be ‘seen and not heard’… Probably why she had such a hard time getting a job in Radio.

My wife asked me yesterday “what came first the egg or the chicken?” I replied “the toast then the egg, now stop asking me stupid questions and make my breakfast.”