Category: sayings

Sticks and Stones May Break Her Bones But Names Will Make Her Starve Herself To Death.

I’d like to get one thing straight: My son.

Breaking News – ‘Over 100 Die In Kenyan Pipeline Explosion’ A full report is in the, erm, pipeline…

Just been on a tour of an old coal mine. It’s the pits.

What goes around comes around. I found this out when I threw up on the Waltzers.

If only the good die young, should I be afraid of my 100-years-old grandmother?

I bought my first ever clock the otherday. I think its about time.

My grandad was telling me about the war today when he said “it was a fight to the finish” “unlike all those other wars that were fought until the middle?” i replied.

I’ll never forget my wife’s final words before she died.. “Get a life!”

When one door closes another one opens… I’m sure this house is haunted

I’m looking forward to this evening. I have no choice, given that it hasn’t happened yet.

Cheer up, the whole of the United Kingdom may be struggling to cope with the freezing weather conditions but on the plus side the number of homeless people on our streets has been halved already. Every cloud has a silver lining and all that.

A bloke came up to me earlier and said “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” These graverobbers were never any good at bartering.

They say if you can’t beat them, join them. But the girl guides won’t let me do either.

The other day I was struggling to think of new ideas for a book I’m writing, I sat thinking for ages when suddenly a light just switched on in my brain. It didn’t do much to help, I’m now stuck deciding whether to see a doctor or an electrician.