Category: sayings

They say, “You never really know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” I can’t wait to see how much I’ll miss my wife.

I went to visit my poorly grandad in hospital, and I noticed that he has been writing some things down: ”Monday – 6 Tuesday – 14 Wednesday – 8 Thursday – 5…” I’m beginning to think his days are numbered.

I asked my friend who he thought would win the next series of University Challenge. He said ”It’s all academic”

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it

BBC Wales News: Local boy kills himself jumping in to the sea after drunken bust-up with girlfriend. I cant help but think,i know there are plenty more fish in the sea but you dont have to go looking for them.

The Kettle said to the Pot “Is it because I is black?”

I regret calling my son ‘Curiosity’ ever since we got our cat.

I used to be firmly against surgery, but then I had a change of heart.

All work and no play makes Jarek a Polish builder.

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” Whoever said that has clearly never been the victim of a mum joke.

My wife always gets the wrong end of the stick. So now i just use a spade.

I’m a firm believer in always going that extra mile. Or sometimes even more when it’s a dumb American tourist I have in the back of my cab.

My wife’s like a walking encyclopedia. Thick and flat.

I have a teenage lad who works for me, he just phoned up and said that he is sick. I’m not sure if he’s not coming in tonight or just big-headed.

They say “fortune favours the brave.” That’s why I always buy my lottery ticket dressed as an Apache.