Category: sayings

Just spent a week building a time machine. There’s seven days i’ll get back.

Every rule has an exception. Except for this one.

I’ve always been the kind of person who likes to think outside of the box. Although it has harmed my career as a goalkeeper.

It used to be exciting having to move all the chocolate hoops from one side of the yogurt pot and into the yogurt but now people bend and snap them down the middle, taking the fun out of it which I’m totally against.. I don’t cut corners.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds. Unless it’s Monster Munch.

Mirrors can tell a lot about someone’s appearance. Depends which way you look at it.

The amount of time spent on Facebook is inversely proportional to the amount of actual friends you have.

A dog is not just for Christmas. Unless you’re as skint as me and can’t afford a turkey.

If someone asks you if you’re ticklish, it doesn’t matter if you say yes or no, they’re going to touch you.

People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

People with big salaries…You gotta give them credit.

Me and my dad had a race to see who could invent John Smith’s in tablet form first. My dad won the race and the rule was the loser had to be the first one to try the tablet. That was a bitter pill to swallow.

‘…And don’t even get me started on statements with no context’

You are about to read something you may find hard to digest… Sweetcorn.

“You can’t judge a book by its cover” The phrase that drove Book Cover Review Ltd. out of business.