Category: sayings

My doctor says with a bit of patience he can cure my blindness. I’ll have to wait and see.

There’s a saying that says once you in black, you’ll never go back. Well it’s true. My sister dated a black guy and we haven’t seen her since!

“All that glitters is not gold” – Claire from Claire’s Accessories.

Why are girls so against Bukkake? They should take it as it comes.

If I had a quid for every time I found a pound left in a vending machine…

Someone said to me the other day “least said, soonest mended”. Its a phrase apparently. I decided to put this saying to the test as my brakes went on my car the other day, so I didn’t tell anyone. The Wife’s Funeral is next week.

I was struggling to spell Anders Breivik but then I remembered that rhyme… I before E unless you’ve done a killing spree.

My mum was a firm believer in the phrase, “You can’t have your cake and eat it.” Needless to say, I had some depressing birthday parties.

My Dad was a sniper in the army, he lived by the rule of “If you can’t see them, they can’t see you.” I try to apply this rule to my life as much as possible. Thats why I close my eyes when i’m raping.

Apparently the Chuckle Brothers have only just finished opening their Christmas presents. The labelling was, once again, a nightmare.

It’s true when people say, “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” I had a life before I got married, now it’s gone.

I am a student………Forever a loan.

Early to rise, early to bed, leaves a man healthy but socially dead.

Up escalators, they won’t let you down.

You need to see the new car I bought as it completely suits me in every way. It’s right up my street.