Category: sayings

You know what they say: You can take the man out of Manchester… but then it would be called Chester…. Which could be very misleading.

I love the old saying: “Black sky at night – It’s night Black sky in the morning – I’ve woken up at night again”

Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it as my dad keeps telling me over and over again.

I like to disprove popular sayings. Which is why I’ve nicknamed my wife “stone”.

Third rule of Fight Club. Never repeat yourself.

Bigger is better. Unless it’s a tumour.

If at first you don’t succeed, consider a career in politics instead.

I was at the cash and carry earlier stocking up on fabric conditioner and was devastated to find I couldn’t fit it all in the van. Luckily the wife was only a phone call away and turned up in the car. We managed to take some comfort in that.

The key to life is balance, especially if you’re on a ledge.

‘If you love something, set it free’. Our son still hasn’t found his way home from our Tunisian mini break…

This year I’ve decided to have a marquee put up in my garden with some funky music & flashing lights in. Now is the winter of my disco tent.

If I had a pound for every time I misunderstood an expression, I’d have a bird in my bush!

My friend started throwing other people’s bags around in the lobby I said ‘why you doing that?’ he replied ‘because other people do it.’ It was at that point I whipped out the cliche, and said, ‘if those people jumped off a cliff, would you?’ thinking he had no response. Alas, he replied with a […]

My mum always used to tell me that an itchy right palm means you’re coming into money. Well, my right palm’s itching & I’m only coming into a sock.

If dogs die in hot cars, why do they lay next to the fire?