Category: sayings

Apparently Gordon Brown knew about some corruption within his party but he always turned a blind eye.

My mate has just changed his name to ‘Blackpool’. He’s got some front that lad.

They say: “Time heals all wounds.” Doesn’t help amputees much though.

I’m not a pessimist; I’m a depressed realist.

I fondly recall the time I discovered a cure for Dementia. Aah…that brings back memories.

I don’t know why the police are called pigs. It’s not like I’ve ever wanted to beat a pig to death.

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. And then I’d get really upset as that was meant to be a present for his aquarium.

I used to have bad luck with my DJ’ing equipment. But now, finally, the tables have turned.

Wouldn’t going ‘behind somebody’s back’ be doing it in front of them?

Deep down I’m really shallow.

Get rich or die trying. Or in my case, don’t even try and die doing something else.

Some say that the thing that matters in bed is ‘the motion of the ocean’ and not ‘the size of the boat’ Yeah, but lots of motion on a tiny boat is scary and disturbing…

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Except when selling bootleg DVDs.

Typical necrophilliacs. Always digging up the past.

I’m King William III (1650 1702) and taxing people for using windows was my idea.