Category: sayings

They say ‘no news is good news.’ Not if you want to watch the News.

I was taught, the real secret in business is honesty. Absolute, irresistible, downright, honesty. Once you learn to fake that, you?ll make a fortune.

Angular momentum makes my world go ’round.

To be or not to be , that is TWO questions.

If an infinite number of monkeys were given typewriters… …it would go some way to reducing the unemployment figures.

The wife is like a box of chocolates, you always know what you’re gonna get.

The women in work said I should get in touch with my feminine side. So I’ve just phoned my twin sister.

My mate asked me today to tell him something short and constructive. So I replied Bob the Builder.

1. There’s more than one way to skin a cat. 2. A cat has nine lives. During an experiment to find out if number 1 is true, I proved that number 2 is false.

I saw this kid coming out of McDonald’s with a happy meal. I punched him in the face and nicked it. Turns out there is such a thing as a free lunch.

To do is to be. – Descartes To be is to do. – Voltaire Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra Yabba Dabba Do. – Fred Flintstone

My wife walked into the bedroom in a nurses outfit and whispered, “Tonight you can do whatever you want.” “Wow, I feel like a kid in a candy shop,” I said “Sounds like someone’s happy…” “With diabetes.”

I’m not into helping people with their luggage at the airport. It’s not my bag.

My wife was going away for the weekend, and as she left she kissed me on the cheek and said: “Be Good”. As she closed the door, I chuckled under my breath; “While the cats away, the mice can play.” I spent all weekend playing with my pet mice. It was lovely.

I’ve just moved into my new flat and directly below me is a police station. It would appear that I’m above the law.