Category: sarcasm

InjuryLawyers4U: ‘We hope you’ll never need us’ Yes I’m sure you’re more than content to have no-one need you and end up making no profit and having to close down.

“Australian dies after planking fall.” Clearly he didn’t quite grasp the notion of lying still.

The man who can, does. The woman who can’t, makes extra effort to find fault with the man who can.

So, I was working Yesterday and a chap in a wheelchair came into the shop, I was wearing my england shirt. He said “I dont understand why people wear football shirts when they are not playing football” I replied “I dont understand why people in Wheelchairs wear running trainers when they can’t run”

Just saw the headline on the BBC news website: “Hostage ‘delighted’ to be back” It’s great to see that news reporting remains insightful and enterprising.

Pat and Mick, came from Ireland to Liverpool, and the mother said before they left “If you get in one of them big black taxi’s only pay the fare on the meter.” When they arrived in Liverpool they called a black taxi and asked to go to an address in upper parliament street, when they […]

“I was alive when Sunny D and Busted were the shizz” I wasn’t aware you were dead.

Status: Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today. I guess that’s exactly what you’re doing sitting in front of a computer on Facebook.

A report in the paper today says a man was stabbed in the eye with an umbrella waiting for a taxi after a Christmas party. I wonder if Batman knows about this?

Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 216 words.

I’m attending the annual Sarcasm convention tomorrow. I can’t wait…

I was on holiday in Miami recently and went on a helicopter trip. When we were in the air I said to the pilot “Isn’t there a place round here somewhere, named after a shape, where airplanes disappear without a trace?” “Oh, you mean the Bermuda triangle”. “No, The Pentagon”.

It has been reported that Italian airport staff plan to go on strike today between 11a.m and 3 p.m. Or as it’s know in Italy, lunchtime.

If money does not grow on trees,why do banks have branches? So they can hang their customers out to dry!

For me, losing is not an option. Unless of course, I’m being realistic about my abilities.